How do I feel about fatherhood?

Tomorrow is the birth of my daughter.  A year ago, I never would have thought this was coming so soon.  But here I am, staying at home with the dog, while my wife is at the clinic ready to give birth to our first child tomorrow.  My feelings about this have changed a lot over the past few months.

The moment we found out we were having a baby, we’d both already suspected my wife was pregnant.  She was already feeling morning sickness and had missed her period.  The pregnancy test just confirmed what we were both thinking.  At that time, I was scared.  I was quite worried about what would happen.  It was a sudden thing I didn’t feel prepared for at all.  I guess I was scared of the big changes coming up.  I’d never been responsible for a child’s life before.  I had quite mixed feelings.  Of course, I was scared about how much my life was going to change.  It was so soon!  We’d talked about children, but not thinking we were going to have a child within a year.  But at the same time, I was excited, because I’ve wanted children for quite some time.

Over the next couple weeks, as the news was sinking in, we visited a clinic and even had an ultrasound picture of our baby, who looked like a bean.  It was that moment that it felt much more real.  I was truly happy and excited.  I wanted this.

For a while, we couldn’t see any visible signs of pregnancy, so it still didn’t seem completely real.  When we first felt our daughter moving, it was again getting closer to reality in my mind.  Feeling her move was amazing.  It still is amazing!  These days, we’ve been able to feel her foot pushing against my wife’s abdomen wall.  When I saw her moving on the screen during ultrasound, I had an amazing feeling of happiness.  I could see her heart beat!

But now, the night before my daughter is born, I feel a bit nervous, but very anxious to see her.  I get to hold her tomorrow after she’s born, but I won’t get to hold her again for several days until she comes home next week.  I have no idea what it’ll feel like when I hold her for the first time.  But I can’t wait to find out.  I’m incredibly excited to start this new life!

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5 thoughts on “How do I feel about fatherhood?

  1. Pingback: 2012 Year in Review | Foreign Dad in Japan

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